Meet hostings first "post nuclear" family.....
Butch R. Cleaver
Nerd or Hero?
TV Dad or Savior of the Human Race?
Man Out of Time or Man of the Future?
Yes. Butch R. Cleaver, pop of the family Cleaver. Lover of fine swank...and b-movie stank. A man who isn't afraid to recklessly experiment to make his world a better place. Naively oblivious to the horrors of the "real" world, Butch endeavors to entertain the masses during these end times....may his obliviousness continue to shine on like a lab rat full of carbon-14.
Quote from Butch R. Cleaver
"The best description of our humble broadcast would be the by-product of a daring (yet strangely arousing) copulation between Barbara Billingsly and Donna Reed...while Tim Burton watches...gravy boat in trembling hand."
Joan E. Cleaver
The Lovely "Head" of the household
Joan E. Cleaver, with donor body or in a jar is the apple of Butch's eye and the voice of reason in the dysfunctional caricature that is the Cleaver homestead. Not only the co-star of Meet Cleaver Theatre but an incredible fount of b-movie knowledge. She is the creator of TRVIA-RAMA, the space-age gimmick that took the Cleaver fans by storm! The cutest thing in a jar since baby gherkins!
Quote from Joan E. Cleaver
"I'd bring out some juice...and some lemon squares.... but I don't seem to have any arms!"
Patches, the family dog(s)
The Scrappy Mutt made from scraps....
What happens when your family dogs are torn asunder by an unexplained time-warp? Sew the best bits and bobs together to create one all new super-mutt! Patches is without a doubt the "family pet of the future"! A golem of a "good boy", Patches is always around to create mischief and cast a sobering light on the Cleaver's TV adventures.
Quote from Patches
"I believe the answer lies in the socio-pychological make-up of the assailant...I mean... RUFF!"
Saint Corman: Patron of B-Movies
Patron Saint of B-Movies
Visionary of Vacuous Video
Our Own....Personal...Jeebus...
While popular Christian theory states that everyone has a guardian angel, not everyone can boast they have their own guardian Saint! HA!
Saint Corman, Patron Saint of B-movies, makes his presence known in many ways. Sometimes he descends from the heavens to bestow his wit and wisdom...but he is always with us in spirit as he has touched and blessed those "little movies". The forgotten gems...the ideas that one man, woman, poverty row studio lovingly birthed only to be orphaned by a ravenous Hollywood public. He bestows the ability to choose only the freshest cuts of B-grade cinema upon Butch...and he delivers thusly. Through his divine movie counsel he is with us each and every episode.
Quote from St. Corman
"Why won't they look???? Oh think about it....won't you?"
Emergo - The Closeted Side of Butch
The cat who came out of the closet 50 years too late....
While not an actual blood relative of the Cleavers, Emergo "emerged" from their closet a few days after the time-shattering event that brought them to the present day. Emergo is a literal manifestation of Butch's dark side: his deviant thoughts, his lewdness, rudeness and crudeness...all the things Mr. Cleaver had to keep repressed during 1950s polite society. You'll notice a chemistry between them...just like brothers re-united.
Quote from Emergo
"Judy Blume? Judy Blume sucks! Look at me, I'm an adolescent girl...write a book about it!"
The Paranoid Neighbor
The wacky guy next door....
Butch's conspiracy-nut of a next door neighbor. His name is concealed to protect him from the New World Order....his head is covered in tin-foil to protect him from the "black helicopters"...his phone number is unlisted to protect him from the repo men....
A guy of many an entertaining yarn, the Paranoid Neighbor is one of Butch's favorite outdoor distractions.
Quote from the Paranoid Neighbor
"Last night, the werewolves broke into my house again....they broke into my house and they stole my book of stamps and a roll of quarters. I just wanna know what's going on!!!"
Tracy Kaeff - Prop Diva Extraordinaire
What would we do without our most excellent prop-diva, master carpenter-ess and chemical engineer?
Sit in the corner of the edit bay and weep gloomily would be my first choice....
Tracy has the brilliant mix of creativity and mechanical know-how that keeps the Cleaver chaos engine up and running. Just take a look at our new set...she built it! Tracy is also a frequent actress and script-writer for Meet Cleaver Theatre.
Quote from Tracy (as the Agoraphobic Jogger)
"I used to jog every morning through Central Park...but there were SHREWS...EVERYWHERE. Won't someone stop the shrews....."